S.P.M???F*** My Life!!!!-.-

Hmm,13+31+13=57!!!!!


57 DAYS MORE TO MY GRAVE!!!!!
THE END OF THE WORLD COMING!!!!

Less than two months....I haven't prepare well for that....This trial already made me insane....Study until late night.....Tortured by insomnia summore....Cant even sleep well every night...My panda eyes came out and now I look quite same as this cute animal....

^^Is it cute???=)

No!!!!!Oh My Gosh!!!Biology,Chemistry,Physics,Add Maths,Maths,Sejarah,Morale,BM and BI.....Haiz....I cant follow up...Its too too too too too too too X 10000000 many man!!!!-.-I hope There will be someone have the willing to teach me all of this...God,please show me who is he or she?I begging you~

This time I really scare....I reduce my computer time,my tv time....But seem that it still NOT ENOUGH!!!

Urghhhh!!!!What can I do now...Less than two months leh!!!The SPM so cake!!!Impossible catch up in an unfathomable time!!!Now I will crumble under the insane responsibility of a 'NICE' student~

Why they want to exam?Waste trees,waste paper!!

Haiz...But what can I do?I registered for the exam._.

This is so stress...It amassing my mind,my heart and just like thousand tons load on my shoulders!!!Normally like this>>>

So,what Im gonna do is this....Do MAXIMUM exersices...Stop BLOGGING!FACEBOOK AND  TWITTER!!!!SO THIS WILL BE MY LAST POST BEFORE SPM.='(

I promised that to my grandparents especially my grandmother that I will get a good result for her....She so loves me but she is sick now...So,demi tidak merisaukan dia,I did a promise....I'M GONNA DO THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY FAMILY!!!

For all SPM 2011 candidates!!!Jia you jia you jia you!!!!Mind support from me to all of you!!!Let's DO THE BEST FOR THIS TIME!DON'T REGRET IF YOU DON'T WORK HARD!=)

DO THE BEST DO IT AS INFINITY!!You and I the BEST!!!XD

Well,I will stop facebook,twitter and blogging for a duration....Maybe I will continue back after my SPM.

These months happened too many things....My family problems,my friends problems and also my problems.Every time I try to accept it but it seem that made me so hard to do it.I'm over stress....Many things instigated me always think toward negative side....It associate with many things around me...Sometimes,my mind just out of control....But fortunately I released it out through crying and musics.

Sometimes I think that life are predictable yet the truth wasn't.Life is unpredictable,when the time is right,the place is correct,then the story will happen...From prologue until climax then the end.....Everyday it routine again and again.....Felt that life is boring through this life rotation.....

Less than a month plus minus....Trial exam is coming!!!Duhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!I haven't prepare well yet...Oh my Gosh!!!!!!I cant touch the books because it hurt my skin.....How to say this?I'm too tired to see the books again after fatigue because of tuition.....How I can touch the books again????Almost everyday reached home about 7:30pm....GoSh!!!!Why made my life miserable???

Atrocious exam is coming.....

FML!!!!!Insufferable exam!!!!Haiz=(....This is just execution for students,man!!!!

My coming holiday will remind me of my mortality....Count down the date....to the hell......

Now,I'm still act like a baby???Ish!!!!!!Thought I want to become a baby again if got time traveler?At least I no need to think much!!!No need to EXAM????Grow up is hard!and I haven't grow up yet!=.=lll

Everything I learnt just flew away when I sitting for my exam~FML!!!!

Now,impatience is amassing in my blood....Sigh were exchanged.....

I have to do it all over again to achieve my target.The quite high expectation from my family towards me press my down under the mountain....Well,I promised I will do my best.

I lust for success yet I'm lazy to work hard.....I need to change my attitude now....I know there was no waltz in the park so I have try hard to make through.I keep failed due the main reason>I'm LAZY!!!!Every ounce of my bones weigh heavily with sloth~OMG!!!!What I got for my result is the treachery for what I done!

I have to rush now,because I left too far behind from other....Even function I also dont know how to do!This will be a storm season for me from now on...

I wont think others for this time....Because I really need to concentrate on my study now....Another reason is,no matter what I think,what I wish,it wont come to me.So,let time neutralize everything happened.....

I need to put down all the sad,angry things......Its hard for me because I'm rich in feeling...Like I will keep the feeling until it stopped.I must strengthen my heart and my mind to stay out away from all of this....So,the only solution is I stay disconnected with others and being alone.I found that being alone I learn absorb what teacher taught actually...Not 100% but at least 80% for a stupid,slow student like me......

There are no more haven of freedom this time,only books will fill my free time and so on....

So,just say Jia You!!!!For me and everyone!!!let kick the ass pee aim off and get the f***king good result!!!!

Give me a week time.I will give you an answer.I have to decide it whether I should continue my feeling or just stop.Can't hesitate anymore.I must change this bad thingy....Only this way can confirm what I think and what my heart said.

If I continue,I will tell you straightly.I will work hard,I will try hard to do homework....I want to melt your heart.I'm not ask you to fall for me,I just want you to know,here I am waiting for you,to let me step into your story,be a part of your heart,life and the most important your soul.

I'm not the girl who know how to speak the sweet words that you like to listen.I'm just an ordinary person who fell for you.I'm not pretty girl that you wish to.I don't know what should I do to get your heart,but I will try to ask,to know what you like,especially musics.I want to get in your story,be a character in there.I'm not ask to be the main or sub character,I don't want to be greedy.I just want to be a small small and very small character.I want to discover everything about you.Everything about you just like soul musics that hard to get in.I want to be the melody to fill up your lyrics.So I'm gonna take the risk,no matter what the result will be,I can accept it.I wont feel regret because at least I tried.You are amazing,I will feel pity to lost a shining star in my life.All this only if you give me permission to make my first step into your story...

I'm not a girl that give up easily.Once I do,I will do until the end.I wont do it at all if I feel I will give up on the half way.Failed many times before,but its okay,this is because God don't let me to continue due to who I liked before wasn't the main character in my love story.

I want to borrow the message that I sent to you before and I want use it on me.

''God gave you heart and soul.When challenges come,strengthen your mind,especially heart,then it will lead it to your soul.There are no 'GIVE UP' in life...............''

I scare you will get far away from me.But I must accept no matter what happen.I don't want my heart feel regret because I never tell you.

Hopefully and I wish from my heart that you will give me a chance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

*************************************************************************************************************

#######################################################

If I decided to stop,then I will stop.

Again....

I fall again.
and I don't understand.

Why God create my love story?Why don't I create for myself?Now God let me fall again.

Do you know what he did to me?His eyes prompt me to keep looking at him.His face brought me to his world,but I just stand at the entrance but not inside.His lips...God,I really don't understand why?Can you give me the reason?Why let me fall for him and don't let me tell him.My heart pumping fast when he looks at me.

I like the way he wrote his feeling,his language.Everything he wrote I feel....He made me feel....so strong.....I don't know how to explain.I like his musics when I heard it......What the hell I'm talking about???

One month + two weeks.....
Although the time short,but my feeling towards him......
I don't understand why you came into my life,how suffer I'm tried to avoid you but you still stand in front of me and use your smile to hit me down.....I'm blaming you....Why????

I'll never know the answer.You seem like got an angel in your life.I very scare to lose you....so I'm keep trying to avoid you.Avoid same class with you....Everything I do....Why my heart so stubborn?It still want to stick there....I'm lack of oxygen,coz you take my breathe away slowly and cruelty....You are a bad person!

Why don't let me step out from your life and everyone will better??If I see you,I wish I can own you???I'm selfish!Why don't you get the hell off my life?Is that a difficult task for you?It is for me....

You made me

What else can you do????

Everyday,I look at your profile picture.....But what can I do???

I can't reaching the shining star that I'm always make wish to it.You are billions light years from earth!

I cant reach although it looks close to me....

This two songs for you...The only thing that I can give to you.

Listen with your heart.Cause I'm sing from here,my heart.

I dont want to miss a thing...There You'll be....

National Service 2012=)

Hmmmm........I know I wont kena one...I wont kena one.....Well,my friends is chosen for the National Service.....Well,congratz to them....XD

Before this,I really wish to kena one.....But when think about that.....I tiba tiba scare....coz it really waste my time to do many things.3 months,I can slim down and I will become a neh neh coz now my skin is dark enuf???
Well,it will be a good experience if I kena,I can learn a lot of things,meet some new friends and learn how to interact with other people......But this posively thinking gone when I heard NS will be suffer...I cant do vigorous activities.....This made me scared=(

I got a lot of camping experience.I went camp since I was standard five.....A little girl get far away from home....That time I learnt I must berdikari....I get mix easily with other people,even the teachers and facilitators also like me.....I can communicate with them in malay welly since I 11 years old.....Cant believe myself.....So no matter where I go,or take part....I'm sure I will have a great time with them=)

Now my heart is confusing....Tonight I will know the answer=)


I dint kena!!!WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!=)

The worst thing I ever done....

I thought stay away from you,try avoid from you,was best solution to stop me from like you.Why fate always play me???I cant play this game because I'm scare I'll lose.Everyhing.

I still remember the first message that he sent to me.The first sight when we meet.His eyes,Gosh!!!Haha!!He is the first person that made me unable talk to him in front of him...So embarassing,but he never blame me....

His eyes la,no one have it.He gave me an electric shock!!Damn!!!!

I scare disappointment come against me if I tell him.I swear no matter what I wont let him know.If I were a boy,I also dont a girl like that like me de!!!I'm out of the list....Everyday,everynight I cry in my bed for no reason I think.All of my mind just him only.

Dint talk him until today.I purposely change my time table so I wont meet him.LOL...What a moronic act....I wont see him anymore from now on.Today is the last day.Coz every time I see him I really want to cry.How suffer for me to tahan the tears flow in public.Coz he made me feel that I'm so small,no the right to like him.So,I wont see him anymore until forever,I wish....Hopefully he can forget me after graduate....Ya,he will....I'm sure about that.I'm just a small small character in his life,normally the main character wont remember.So,I came into his life quietly and left his life silently.

Shining star that doesn't belongs to me.

Tear drops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he wont see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful,that girl he talk about
And she got everything That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh' cause it is just so funny
That I cant even see anyone when he's with me
He says he so in love,he's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

Because he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thingthat keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do

Drew walks by me,can he tells that I cant breathe?
And there he goes,so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him,give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thingthat keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do

So I drive home alone,as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
can get some sleep tonight

Because he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do
He's the time taken up,but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.....




This song,although wasn't wrote by me,but the story in the lyrics almost same with my situation.....I accepted and I will get the hell out of your life.

Haiz=(

SPM>This three alphabets have been haunted me since last year....I hate it....Well,the fact is I wasted many time....Still got 199++ days to go....

What I have been done????Still playing facebook at cc???Summore sleep all day when it is holiday???Well,I'm going to die~X.X

I failed my Chemistry,Biology,Add maths,maths and one more Physics...I'm always asking myself,what I'm doing????Why I'm so addicted to computer,which is only a tool of communication and do projects???

Nope.

I knew why I'm failed so many subjects and I havent feel sorry and regret what I have done to myself.My laziness.....A lazy people can ruin his or her own life.....Why I'm still doing this while I know what will happen???


<To be continue>

谎言.好朋友

不要说你是个烂好人....
不要说我误会你.....
不要说我针对你......

一个好朋友是不会编谎言来伤害自己的好朋友.

你彻底变了,变得好像另一个人,一 个又陌生又可怕的人,一个我不再认识的人 。

我曾经相信你,可是你却令我大失所望. 你失去了一个友谊最珍贵的东西----信任 。

你曾经在握的纪念册所写的每一个子,我要把它送回给你.因为我已经改变了...现在的你很需要它...我现在对你已经彻底失望....我决定放弃你。

为什么？因为你变得..好假...我想不到你连这种谎话也说得出来 。
为什么？因为你变得好虚伪,很恶心 。
为什么？你看扁我,怕我会令你羞耻 。
为什么？因为我累了 。
我想不到你会这么做...你很糟糕 ....做 你朋友的是盲的.....这样也难怪的.......你身边有一 个虚伪的人..所谓:''近朱者赤,近墨者黑''。

我现在想通很多事情了, 我不需要为了你这种人伤心....我还有更多真心对待我的朋友...你对我 做的每一件事,会有报应的。

你伤透了我的心没关系...这是上天给予我的教训...我彻底识破你的真面目。

我不会恨你了,这只会浪费我的时间和精神。

你已经让我彻底死心了。

L.I.S.T.E.N >>Heart

Actually,I have been grow up now.

Yeah!My thinking more mature than pass.If I hate someone,it doesn't bring any benefit for me.So,I choose to let it go.

Almost two week plus,I dint talk to her.Honestly,I'm really angry of her that time.Why?She dumped me alone and she went for another one,the people that I hate the most in my life.Maybe I haven't calm down that time.So,I think like she is the one who created by God that purposely takes away everything from me.I don't know that how much I hated the person.

My best friend's attitude changed since before exam.During the exam,I can't pretend that I dint see anything.I dont know why she did this to me.Since that day,I'm falling sick.Its still cannot recover until now.But its okay,I still have to continue my life no matter what will happen.May be death will come to me,I dont scared anymore.
Seem that she said all was my fault,is okay then.But remember you are same as me and you should look at yourself and change.For me,I will repair and I will change.

Seem that our friendship cannot continue as the promise that we had made.Let us separate for a moment.I wont think about you anymore and now I'm gonna to concentrate on my study now.This is the best solution to let both of us cool down and face the problem with mature thinking.Now,I will pray for her,all the best for her.For the person that I hated,I choose to let her go.I just ignore the exist of this person in my life.Forget her.

I will stop thinking all of this start from now.I made the decision and I will follow.Just be myself.

Sad=(

I have been lost my best friend.

I remember when I was down,she beside me.
I remember when I'm happy,she joined me.
I remember that she has the same the sapo acts like me.

She was my best friend.

I like the way she smile,the ways she talk just like an adult,she got mature thinking that me,that's why I really like her to be my best friend.No matter what she did,made me angry or sad,the second day sure will back to normal...

I remember that I went her house,eating a lot...and sleep with her....That time was the best time I'm be together with her....We share laugh and tears together for almost five years.She was the one of the most important person in my life.

Unfortunately,everything changed since this year.
Maybe I've got wrong or made mistake,she should tell me straightly but not dumped me alone.Since this year,I feel that I dont know her anymore,all her personality....I wish this is only my misunderstanding toward her.

BUT NOT.

I wish she will come back to my side,because she will makes me happy when I'm down....I got no any good word to write everything here,but I hope you can receive my message.


I miss you,my best friend.....

Merentas Desa

Merentas Desa>>19th of February 2011,8:00am-11.30am...SMK Miharja,Kuala Lumpur~

Well,this was the second and the last year I ran~The first year I ran,but because of tiredness and lelah,so my teacher sent me back to the school...That year I dint finish my run....Haiz...=((((((((((

2011>>I prepare for everything.....Haha....I run run run,the sweat fall down to my cheek~It was incredible!!!!If my heart got no problem,sure I can run faster geh~But I cant do it because I scare my heart cannot tahan,before the run,already got sign that alerted me don't ever do that.....Haiz....Plus minus my weight also....What made me finished the run is,my strength and my willpower to finish it.....Cannot run too much then walk la~What a simple job for me=DDand I have been decided to become slim for him....So I ran to the end point=D..Thanks for my friends at the checkpoints who gave my mentally support when I ran through them....Hao gan dong!!!!!!=DDDDDDDDDDDD

Lalala,I can't get the first fifteen and the medal,But my rumah is won for sementara!!!!!We won the merentas desa part,we got the highest marks among the all rumah!!!!!Last year and before we always get the last de,but now,we rise up again!!!!!!!

What a tired day for me yesterday~But I'm very happy because I dint give up=D

给那些喜欢伤害人的人>>>

上个星期,我非常的生气~因为那些嘴巴贱的人,用那些伤人的话来刺激人~

我不知道,原来生到样衰,就要被人家拿来当笑话...因为样衰,所以注定要被人家伤害.....
我不知道某些人,以为自己长得好看,就可以这样讲人家,其实你并不好看,你内心的丑陋,遮完你那张原本好看的脸......
我还以为,作为男生的你,是有风度的,看来我大错特错,原来你只是喜欢伤害女孩子的斯文败类~
我还以为,你是一个很好的人,看来我也是错了.....你真的是令我刮目相看啊!
想一想,如果你所说的话,被被讲那个女孩子听到或知道,她会怎么想?用另一个角度看,如果你是那个被讲的女孩子,你的感受又会是如何?如果那个女孩子想不开,做傻事,那要怎么办啊?你就会变成一个言语来杀人的杀人凶手了...看来你从来都没有这个感觉,因为你没有人性~你从来没有想过,后果会是怎样....说话之前,请你用你那个猪脑想一想吧~不是说我要讲你...
不但如此,你喜欢在学校唱衰女孩子,你很烂,很糟糕....做男生做到像你这样,真的很彻底失败.....
看人家的部落格,需要到处去讲人家fat hao没有?每个人都有自己喜欢的人,这样有错吗?如果你喜欢别人,而你却有一样的举动,别人这样子对你,你喜欢吗?要是你有女朋友,我相信,总有一天,她会顶不顺你那肮脏的臭嘴而抛弃你...不要说我咒你,你自己想想看你对人的态度!
你真的很过分,讲人家乱乱add人,现在我想请问你,交朋友有错吗?况且,这是我的facebook,我喜欢add谁都可以,请问你有权利过问或者是管吗???
说我不生气,那就是骗你的...不过现在我想通了,我何必为了你而弄到我自己辛苦呢?像你这种人,不做朋友也罢!我不希罕~我还有更多关心我的朋友....我会开开心心的继续我的生活,不会再被你影响了!!!
在这里,我也要非常地感谢你,让我知道你那恶心的真面目....还有你那些猪朋狗友,也谢谢他们remove了我..拜托,你以为我稀罕吗?这样的朋友没有也罢!还有我想告诉你,我要改变我自己还有我的缺点一一改掉,我会尽量去改~,你一定会后悔你曾经所说过的话....

对付你这种人,不需要浪费时间和精力去反驳你,上天自然会处罚你,报应总会来的,你放心....
...你这种人需要一些天赐的教训,你才会觉悟!!!

最后,我想跟你和你的朋友说,''你们真的是一个无药可救的乌龟王八蛋!!''抱歉,我找不到更好地用语来形容你们,我不太会讲太粗暴的话,这个是便宜你们了!!!

当阅读这个时,自己应该明白谁会是我所说的那个人,应该会有自知之明吧?希望你会反省一下~改过自新,不要再这样伤害人家了......

2011=)

WELCOME 2011=)
I'm still cannot believe that i'm f5 and I'm SEVENTEEN man!!!!!!WHY TIME PASS SO FAST DE???O.0




2011--------------------------
>>SPM year=)
>>Stressful Year=)
>>Busy Year=)
>>Crazy Year=)
>>Hardworking Year=)
>>Brain Juice all out Year=)
>>Study like HELL Year=)
>>Tired Year=)
>>Last year at secondary school=)
>>Last year being a prefect=)
>>Last Year ROCKS with my BUDDIES=)




2011,a new beginning for Nicole.Forget about bad and sad things in 2010,n remember the sweet memories.Being more mature and dont be childish anymore.I'm grow up and step in Form 5 le.Study hard for SPM and get excellent result for parents for their willing to pay money for tuition fees and support.My grandparents too,always support me.My buddies,my frens,thanks for accompany me walk through 2010,I love you guys♥






LET SEE MY TIMETABLE>>>>>




MONDAY--------School extra class until 3:30pm.....(This is the easiest day for me)
TUESDAY-------School extra class until 3:30pm.....Then go tuition from 4:15pm-7pm....BM+BIO.....Then + Maths EXTRA CLASS,i'm 
                           very weak in maths,SO I MUST GO!!@@
WEDNESDAY--Kokurikulum until 4pm++...Then go tuition for f4 Chemistry until 7pm...Coz i never understand 
                         what the previous teacher taught last year!!!!!I have to take it again and change the 
                         teacher!!!!!
Thursday------Same activities....But todays subjects is ENGLISH,f5 CHEMISTRY and ESSAY class
Friday---------SAME AGAIN!!!!!ADD MATHS+PHYSICS+MATHS  =.=llllll




After tuition,i have to go back by myself!!!!Reach home already 7:30pm++...Rest for a while then bath,eat my dinner,Of coz i will eat quite a lot coz i will be very hungry!!!!!About 8:30pm like that,i have to do my homework because now prefectectorial board got a book,teacher can write all their complain about us in THAT FUCKING* book...So,i have to do my homework.....If make teacher BEH SONG then i will X.X!!!!!!




This year will have a lot of EXAMS!!!!!!X.X...Imagine that=(


Nevermind,I WILL DO MY BEST AND MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD WITH ME!!!!!




MY TARGET FOR 2011 IS>>>>>>>>




GET STRAIGHT A+ FOR SPM!!!!!!I KNOW I CAN DO IF I'M HARDWORKING...SO ,I MUST JIA YOU!!!!!!


AND I WANT TO SLIM DOWN,I WANT THOSE GUYS WHO LAUGHING AT ME THE FALL THEIR SPEC AND...I WILL DO THAT...
Because i know if i'm slim down,sure there a lot of nice dress for me,and i will be look nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




THAT'S ALL I WANT TO SAY AT HERE....JIA YOU FOR SPM!!!!!!!!=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD