S.P.M???F*** My Life!!!!-.-

Hmm,13+31+13=57!!!!!


57 DAYS MORE TO MY GRAVE!!!!!
THE END OF THE WORLD COMING!!!!

Less than two months....I haven't prepare well for that....This trial already made me insane....Study until late night.....Tortured by insomnia summore....Cant even sleep well every night...My panda eyes came out and now I look quite same as this cute animal....

^^Is it cute???=)

No!!!!!Oh My Gosh!!!Biology,Chemistry,Physics,Add Maths,Maths,Sejarah,Morale,BM and BI.....Haiz....I cant follow up...Its too too too too too too too X 10000000 many man!!!!-.-I hope There will be someone have the willing to teach me all of this...God,please show me who is he or she?I begging you~

This time I really scare....I reduce my computer time,my tv time....But seem that it still NOT ENOUGH!!!

Urghhhh!!!!What can I do now...Less than two months leh!!!The SPM so cake!!!Impossible catch up in an unfathomable time!!!Now I will crumble under the insane responsibility of a 'NICE' student~

Why they want to exam?Waste trees,waste paper!!

Haiz...But what can I do?I registered for the exam._.

This is so stress...It amassing my mind,my heart and just like thousand tons load on my shoulders!!!Normally like this>>>

So,what Im gonna do is this....Do MAXIMUM exersices...Stop BLOGGING!FACEBOOK AND  TWITTER!!!!SO THIS WILL BE MY LAST POST BEFORE SPM.='(

I promised that to my grandparents especially my grandmother that I will get a good result for her....She so loves me but she is sick now...So,demi tidak merisaukan dia,I did a promise....I'M GONNA DO THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY FAMILY!!!

For all SPM 2011 candidates!!!Jia you jia you jia you!!!!Mind support from me to all of you!!!Let's DO THE BEST FOR THIS TIME!DON'T REGRET IF YOU DON'T WORK HARD!=)

DO THE BEST DO IT AS INFINITY!!You and I the BEST!!!XD

Well,I will stop facebook,twitter and blogging for a duration....Maybe I will continue back after my SPM.

These months happened too many things....My family problems,my friends problems and also my problems.Every time I try to accept it but it seem that made me so hard to do it.I'm over stress....Many things instigated me always think toward negative side....It associate with many things around me...Sometimes,my mind just out of control....But fortunately I released it out through crying and musics.

Sometimes I think that life are predictable yet the truth wasn't.Life is unpredictable,when the time is right,the place is correct,then the story will happen...From prologue until climax then the end.....Everyday it routine again and again.....Felt that life is boring through this life rotation.....

Less than a month plus minus....Trial exam is coming!!!Duhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!I haven't prepare well yet...Oh my Gosh!!!!!!I cant touch the books because it hurt my skin.....How to say this?I'm too tired to see the books again after fatigue because of tuition.....How I can touch the books again????Almost everyday reached home about 7:30pm....GoSh!!!!Why made my life miserable???

Atrocious exam is coming.....

FML!!!!!Insufferable exam!!!!Haiz=(....This is just execution for students,man!!!!

My coming holiday will remind me of my mortality....Count down the date....to the hell......

Now,I'm still act like a baby???Ish!!!!!!Thought I want to become a baby again if got time traveler?At least I no need to think much!!!No need to EXAM????Grow up is hard!and I haven't grow up yet!=.=lll

Everything I learnt just flew away when I sitting for my exam~FML!!!!

Now,impatience is amassing in my blood....Sigh were exchanged.....

I have to do it all over again to achieve my target.The quite high expectation from my family towards me press my down under the mountain....Well,I promised I will do my best.

I lust for success yet I'm lazy to work hard.....I need to change my attitude now....I know there was no waltz in the park so I have try hard to make through.I keep failed due the main reason>I'm LAZY!!!!Every ounce of my bones weigh heavily with sloth~OMG!!!!What I got for my result is the treachery for what I done!

I have to rush now,because I left too far behind from other....Even function I also dont know how to do!This will be a storm season for me from now on...

I wont think others for this time....Because I really need to concentrate on my study now....Another reason is,no matter what I think,what I wish,it wont come to me.So,let time neutralize everything happened.....

I need to put down all the sad,angry things......Its hard for me because I'm rich in feeling...Like I will keep the feeling until it stopped.I must strengthen my heart and my mind to stay out away from all of this....So,the only solution is I stay disconnected with others and being alone.I found that being alone I learn absorb what teacher taught actually...Not 100% but at least 80% for a stupid,slow student like me......

There are no more haven of freedom this time,only books will fill my free time and so on....

So,just say Jia You!!!!For me and everyone!!!let kick the ass pee aim off and get the f***king good result!!!!

Give me a week time.I will give you an answer.I have to decide it whether I should continue my feeling or just stop.Can't hesitate anymore.I must change this bad thingy....Only this way can confirm what I think and what my heart said.

If I continue,I will tell you straightly.I will work hard,I will try hard to do homework....I want to melt your heart.I'm not ask you to fall for me,I just want you to know,here I am waiting for you,to let me step into your story,be a part of your heart,life and the most important your soul.

I'm not the girl who know how to speak the sweet words that you like to listen.I'm just an ordinary person who fell for you.I'm not pretty girl that you wish to.I don't know what should I do to get your heart,but I will try to ask,to know what you like,especially musics.I want to get in your story,be a character in there.I'm not ask to be the main or sub character,I don't want to be greedy.I just want to be a small small and very small character.I want to discover everything about you.Everything about you just like soul musics that hard to get in.I want to be the melody to fill up your lyrics.So I'm gonna take the risk,no matter what the result will be,I can accept it.I wont feel regret because at least I tried.You are amazing,I will feel pity to lost a shining star in my life.All this only if you give me permission to make my first step into your story...

I'm not a girl that give up easily.Once I do,I will do until the end.I wont do it at all if I feel I will give up on the half way.Failed many times before,but its okay,this is because God don't let me to continue due to who I liked before wasn't the main character in my love story.

I want to borrow the message that I sent to you before and I want use it on me.

''God gave you heart and soul.When challenges come,strengthen your mind,especially heart,then it will lead it to your soul.There are no 'GIVE UP' in life...............''

I scare you will get far away from me.But I must accept no matter what happen.I don't want my heart feel regret because I never tell you.

Hopefully and I wish from my heart that you will give me a chance.

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If I decided to stop,then I will stop.

Again....

I fall again.
and I don't understand.

Why God create my love story?Why don't I create for myself?Now God let me fall again.

Do you know what he did to me?His eyes prompt me to keep looking at him.His face brought me to his world,but I just stand at the entrance but not inside.His lips...God,I really don't understand why?Can you give me the reason?Why let me fall for him and don't let me tell him.My heart pumping fast when he looks at me.

I like the way he wrote his feeling,his language.Everything he wrote I feel....He made me feel....so strong.....I don't know how to explain.I like his musics when I heard it......What the hell I'm talking about???

One month + two weeks.....
Although the time short,but my feeling towards him......
I don't understand why you came into my life,how suffer I'm tried to avoid you but you still stand in front of me and use your smile to hit me down.....I'm blaming you....Why????

I'll never know the answer.You seem like got an angel in your life.I very scare to lose you....so I'm keep trying to avoid you.Avoid same class with you....Everything I do....Why my heart so stubborn?It still want to stick there....I'm lack of oxygen,coz you take my breathe away slowly and cruelty....You are a bad person!

Why don't let me step out from your life and everyone will better??If I see you,I wish I can own you???I'm selfish!Why don't you get the hell off my life?Is that a difficult task for you?It is for me....

You made me

What else can you do????

Everyday,I look at your profile picture.....But what can I do???

I can't reaching the shining star that I'm always make wish to it.You are billions light years from earth!

I cant reach although it looks close to me....

This two songs for you...The only thing that I can give to you.

Listen with your heart.Cause I'm sing from here,my heart.

I dont want to miss a thing...There You'll be....

National Service 2012=)

Hmmmm........I know I wont kena one...I wont kena one.....Well,my friends is chosen for the National Service.....Well,congratz to them....XD

Before this,I really wish to kena one.....But when think about that.....I tiba tiba scare....coz it really waste my time to do many things.3 months,I can slim down and I will become a neh neh coz now my skin is dark enuf???
Well,it will be a good experience if I kena,I can learn a lot of things,meet some new friends and learn how to interact with other people......But this posively thinking gone when I heard NS will be suffer...I cant do vigorous activities.....This made me scared=(

I got a lot of camping experience.I went camp since I was standard five.....A little girl get far away from home....That time I learnt I must berdikari....I get mix easily with other people,even the teachers and facilitators also like me.....I can communicate with them in malay welly since I 11 years old.....Cant believe myself.....So no matter where I go,or take part....I'm sure I will have a great time with them=)

Now my heart is confusing....Tonight I will know the answer=)


I dint kena!!!WOAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!=)

The worst thing I ever done....

I thought stay away from you,try avoid from you,was best solution to stop me from like you.Why fate always play me???I cant play this game because I'm scare I'll lose.Everyhing.

I still remember the first message that he sent to me.The first sight when we meet.His eyes,Gosh!!!Haha!!He is the first person that made me unable talk to him in front of him...So embarassing,but he never blame me....

His eyes la,no one have it.He gave me an electric shock!!Damn!!!!

I scare disappointment come against me if I tell him.I swear no matter what I wont let him know.If I were a boy,I also dont a girl like that like me de!!!I'm out of the list....Everyday,everynight I cry in my bed for no reason I think.All of my mind just him only.

Dint talk him until today.I purposely change my time table so I wont meet him.LOL...What a moronic act....I wont see him anymore from now on.Today is the last day.Coz every time I see him I really want to cry.How suffer for me to tahan the tears flow in public.Coz he made me feel that I'm so small,no the right to like him.So,I wont see him anymore until forever,I wish....Hopefully he can forget me after graduate....Ya,he will....I'm sure about that.I'm just a small small character in his life,normally the main character wont remember.So,I came into his life quietly and left his life silently.

Shining star that doesn't belongs to me.

Tear drops On My Guitar

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he wont see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful,that girl he talk about
And she got everything That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh' cause it is just so funny
That I cant even see anyone when he's with me
He says he so in love,he's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

Because he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thingthat keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do

Drew walks by me,can he tells that I cant breathe?
And there he goes,so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him,give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thingthat keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do

So I drive home alone,as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
can get some sleep tonight

Because he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car,I keep singing ,dont know why I do
He's the time taken up,but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into.....




This song,although wasn't wrote by me,but the story in the lyrics almost same with my situation.....I accepted and I will get the hell out of your life.